Nov 13 / Simcha

How Relationships Help Us Grow

I came across a lovely African proverb (see full proverb at end of article), and am writing this post as an excuse to share it — sort of like sewing a dress to show off the necklace.

In many ways, it is much easier to live one’s life alone.  No one challenges your lifestyle choices, your habits, opinions or idiosyncrasies; no one asks you to adapt, compromise or change.  

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Jun 27 / Simcha

Marital Advice from a Lawyer (J.J.Sexton)

New York City divorce lawyer James J. Sexton has faciliated the demise of over 1,000 marriages. “There is almost no story, no matter how sordid, that can surprise me,” he notes.

Without purporting to have any formal education in what makes a relationship thrive, he recently published a book  (If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together) in which he shares what he has observed makes relationships fall apart irretrievably.

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Mar 17 / Simcha

Teach People How to Treat You

To a large degree (although not across the board or in every circumstance), we have much greater power to control how people treat us than we are aware. Often from fear of appearing selfish, unkind, or losing connection, we allow ourselves to be disrespected, and in so doing, start to lose pieces of ourselves.

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Dec 16 / Simcha

How to Ask for What You Want

Working with couples, it strikes me over and over how instinctively partners move to the aggressive or passive/ avoidant end of the communication spectrum.

The former approach entails a readiness to attack, confront, criticize, or cast aspersion, and quickly escalates a conflictual exchange that could be so much more easily resolved. The latter promotes a sense of powerlessness in the relationship, self-pity and self-victimization, sulking, withdrawal, internalized and growing resentment, and does little to move a situation or dynamic in new directions.

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Dec 07 / Simcha

It All Matters (L. McBride)

In her heart-wrenching novel narrated in four distinct voicesLaura McBride looks at the humanness behind, and the significance of, our every action.  And she suggests that it all really does matter.   

The book’s title — We Are Called to Rise is drawn from the quote by poet Emily Dickenson:  “We never know how high we are, Till we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies.”  The following two eloquent quotes capture the book’s essence.

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