Feb 19 / Simcha

Why We Misunderstand (N. Epley)

Why is it so hard to understand our partners?  Why do they continue to astound us with their feelings, reactions and desires, even decades down the road?  Why is understanding so elusive?

In his 2014 book Mindwise, writer, scientist and (University of Chicago) behavioral psychologist Nicholas Epley explores the ways in which we routinely make inferences about what others think, believe, feel, or want, and in so doing, routinely misunderstand them.

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Jun 27 / Simcha

Marital Advice from a Lawyer (J.J.Sexton)

New York City divorce lawyer James J. Sexton has faciliated the demise of over 1,000 marriages. “There is almost no story, no matter how sordid, that can surprise me,” he notes.

Without purporting to have any formal education in what makes a relationship thrive, he recently published a book  (If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together) in which he shares what he has observed makes relationships fall apart irretrievably.

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Apr 18 / Simcha

The Power in the Pause

When our partner snaps at us, s/he is generally sending us a distress signal. That distress may be connected to an immediate need that is not being met; to a sense of being overwhelmed; to a feeling of inadequacy or of being misunderstood; or even to an old (painful or uncomfortable) family-of-origin dynamic or trauma that is being triggered.

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