May 26 / Simcha

The Problem with “Don’ts”

Excerpted from Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage, by Bader & Pearson

The route to deception in a marriage [or long-term relationship]  is mainly found within routine exchanges.  Couples make demands upon each other and often expect things to be a certain way (their way). By laying down the law, they may inadvertently set the stage for deception. It can take only a few snippets of conversation to cue your mate to be more open or to shut up and shut down.  The situation can be hard to spot because, at first glance, it looks like everyone is in agreement. Also, a rule might not be articulated until it’s been violated.

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