Unlike marriage specialists Drs. John Gottman and Susan Johnson who speak of the importance of connection and attachment, psychologist David Schnarch focuses on differentiation and on balancing one’s individuality with being a couple. In the following selection from a longer article in Psychology Today (How to Grow Up, by Pam Weintraub, May 2012), Schnarch proposes a road map for becoming an authentic adult that is also a blueprint for putting passion back in relationships.