Dec 09 / Simcha

The Velveteen Rabbit on Everything

It has been said that a good artistic or literary creation is one that can be enjoyed differently at various stages of life.  Recall a book you read or a movie you watched as a child, and consider how richly different the experience was when you repeated it as an adult.

Yesterday I sat down to read the beloved children’s book, The Velveteen Rabbit (or How Toys Become Real), in preparation for an outing to Seattle’s Children’s Theatre with my six-year-old grandchildren.  Written by Margery Williams and first published in 1922, the book chronicles the story of a stuffed rabbit’s desire to become real through the love of his owner. 

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Dec 04 / Simcha

Guidelines for Divorcing Parents of Children

The intense emotional impact of divorce often leaves parents filled with anger, hurt and the fear of losing connection with one’s children; in the battle that ensues, the children can become the pawns, suffering trauma that is greater than the breakup itself.

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Nov 13 / Simcha

How Relationships Help Us Grow

I came across a lovely African proverb (see full proverb at end of article), and am writing this post as an excuse to share it — sort of like sewing a dress to show off the necklace.

In many ways, it is much easier to live one’s life alone.  No one challenges your lifestyle choices, your habits, opinions or idiosyncrasies; no one asks you to adapt, compromise or change.  

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Jun 27 / Simcha

Marital Advice from a Lawyer (J.J.Sexton)

New York City divorce lawyer James J. Sexton has faciliated the demise of over 1,000 marriages. “There is almost no story, no matter how sordid, that can surprise me,” he notes.

Without purporting to have any formal education in what makes a relationship thrive, he recently published a book  (If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together) in which he shares what he has observed makes relationships fall apart irretrievably.

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Jun 05 / Simcha

“But I Apologized!!?” (E. Bader)

Master therapist (and co-founder of the Couples Institute) Ellyn Bader notes that several myths can render an apology meaningless and even useless. After debunking these myths, she offers a path for repair that is more effective than a glib or quick apology.

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Apr 08 / Simcha

When a Loved One Commits Suicide (Resources)

Tragically, several of my clients have had to confront the suicide of a loved one, or find themselves in the position of wanting to support someone who has experienced such a loss. The following list of resources focuses on supporting adolescents and young adults, but is relevant for a wider population as well.

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Mar 17 / Simcha

Teach People How to Treat You

To a large degree (although not across the board or in every circumstance), we have much greater power to control how people treat us than we are aware. Often from fear of appearing selfish, unkind, or losing connection, we allow ourselves to be disrespected, and in so doing, start to lose pieces of ourselves.

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