Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
ENVY: Sharpen the Mind, Deplete the Ego
In today’s New York Times (Envy May Bear Fruit, but It Also Has an Aftertaste), John Tierney takes a look at Envy, seemingly “the most useless of the deadly sins: excruciating to experience, shameful to admit, bereft of immediate pleasure or long-term benefits.” After reviewing the research, he suggests that coveting may actually have an upside — alongside one new reason to uphold the commandment against it.
Waiting for the Moment (Poetry by Transtromer)
This week, the Swedish Academy selected Swedish poet Tomas Tranströmer as the winner of the Nobel Prize for literature. Considered one of Scandinavia’s most important poets, Tranströmer has published in more than 60 languages and has been championed in the U.S. by the poet Robert Bly. Tranströmer has been partially paralyzed and unable to speak since he suffered a stroke in 1990, but he has continued to write.
Exploding those SDBs (David Burns)
Dr. David Burns suggests that many of our fears are based on self-defeating beliefs (SDBs), false perceptions about ourselves that make us vulnerable to painful mood swings, insecurities, anxiety and depression. Unlike negative thoughts, SDBs are always present, and sabotage our persistent attempts at joy and peace of mind.
Tips for Effective Conflict Resolution
Are you in the middle of a dispute – personal or professional?
Be aware that if your main goal is to win, blame or change the other party, the conflict will probably escalate, no matter what skills you use. Only begin a conversation about a conflict if you are truly open to learning something new and to problem-solving.
The irony of resolving conflicts or disputes is that the greatest leverage for change comes from listening to and understanding the other person’s point of view, NOT from convincing them you are right. When people feel listened to, they are more likely to try to understand you and your stance.
You are Enough (Says Brene Brown)
The one thing that separates those of us who feel a strong sense of belonging and connection from those of us who don’t is the ability to be authentic, to stop pretending, to accept uncertainty, and to allow ourselves to be deeply seen — with all our imperfections.
This is the conclusion reached by Brene Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, who has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame.
Gauzy Slogans Without the Steel
In today’s New York Times editorial (Falser Words Were Never Spoken), Professor Brian Morton*, director of the graduate program in fiction at Sarah Lawrence College, tells us we can’t have it all. We are misled, he claims, by the “shiny, fabulous, gorgeous makeover” of the teachings of our great thinkers, a makeover that strips their wisdom of its subtlety and complexity, leaving us with only illusion and fantasy. Three examples:
Well-Travelled Yet Nought Hath Seen
In this delightful poem, English poet John Kenyon* (1783-1856) mocks the pretentious and complacent 19th-century British traveler who avoids mixing with the local populations, learns little that touches or changes him, then returns home to pontificate on (and brag about) what he has observed from the comfort of his train car. Kenyon reminds us that if we fail to open ourselves emotionally to that which we encounter as we drift around the bay that is our life, we risk becoming like the well-travelled oyster who — “shut within
his sulky shell, he nought hath seen.”