Nov 01 / Simcha

Ask Beth: Honest Advice for Teens

askbeth_s — Click on image to view "Ask Beth" column, July 1984

“How can a boy kiss a girl who wears braces?”
“I have enormous ears…. Is there an operation to whittle them down to size?”
“I am in terrible trouble and I don’t know where to turn. I’m 14 and I’m pregnant.”
“Should I sleep with my boyfriend?” (asked by a 10-year-old girl)

During the cultural upheaval of the 1960s and 70s, questions arose as never before about formerly forbidden topics such as sex. Thousands of teenagers and their parents, unable to find answers elsewhere, sent letters (first on paper and later by email) to Elizabeth Winship’s “Ask Beth” column in The Boston Globe, seeking her frank, detailed, sympathetic, and often witty advice on how to deal with delicate topics.

Oct 25 / Simcha

Thinking About College

College tuition rates are soaring. More and more students go to college every year, and a bachelor’s degree is now required for entry into a growing number of professions. After all the efforts invested by parents and high school seniors to find the “perfect” college and after the tens of thousands of dollars invested in attending that college, are undergraduates really learning anything at all? For a large proportion of students, Richard Arum and Josipa Roksa’s answer to that question is a definitive “no.”

Oct 21 / Simcha

Be Curious!

Be curious rather than judgmental.

If you remember and apply this mantra regularly and consistently, you will be halfway there in improving relations with your teen.

Much negative behavior is driven by a need for attention or a need that isn’t being met. Responding with force or ultimatum reinforces negativity and invites resistance.

Oct 11 / Simcha

Just a Lovely Poem… (by Mary Oliver)

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Oct 11 / Simcha

ENVY: Sharpen the Mind, Deplete the Ego

In today’s New York Times (Envy May Bear Fruit, but It Also Has an Aftertaste), John Tierney takes a look at Envy, seemingly “the most useless of the deadly sins: excruciating to experience, shameful to admit, bereft of immediate pleasure or long-term benefits.” After reviewing the research, he suggests that coveting may actually have an upside — alongside one new reason to uphold the commandment against it.

Oct 08 / Simcha

Waiting for the Moment (Poetry by Transtromer)

poettt — Tranströmer in Stockholm, Sweden (AP Photo/Jessica Gow, File)

This week, the Swedish Academy selected Swedish poet Tomas Tranströmer as the winner of the Nobel Prize for literature. Considered one of Scandinavia’s most important poets, Tranströmer has published in more than 60 languages and has been championed in the U.S. by the poet Robert Bly. Tranströmer has been partially paralyzed and unable to speak since he suffered a stroke in 1990, but he has continued to write.

Oct 05 / Simcha

Learning to (Really) Listen

Many years ago I attended a powerful and memorable Reflective Listening workshop. The participants were asked to listen carefully as volunteers related a story about something in their lives the found disturbing or confusing. During the first stage of the exercise, the participants were instructed to warm-up their “listening muscles” by listening without any response or reaction whatsoever.

Oct 04 / Simcha

Exploding those SDBs (David Burns)

Dr. David Burns suggests that many of our fears are based on self-defeating beliefs (SDBs), false perceptions about ourselves that make us vulnerable to painful mood swings, insecurities, anxiety and depression. Unlike negative thoughts, SDBs are always present, and sabotage our persistent attempts at joy and peace of mind.